i just finished catching up with my older brothers blog, panchosvia.com, which you should definitely check out, and more than ever i’m bummed i decided to cancel my upcoming uk/europe tour.  you didn’t hear anything about it because i decided to cancel it before i told anyone it was happening.  i guess that’s the way it goes when you plan things far in advance, or in this case, not quite far enough in advance.  i also have been thinking about how incredible it is to get to tour and to experience life as a bit more of a local than a tourist, but am now feeling a bit like i’ve missed out on some other beautiful opportunities.  touring means i can make a little money to offset the cost of traveling, but at the same time it means i never have a job so never have enough money to do the things like eat nice meals and see fancy sites, try loads of local beers, or most importantly, stay in a city for more than a night.  so, i’m hoping over the next year to change that a bit.  i’m already really enjoying the love of asheville, nc, and i will be sad to leave here.  but i hope to spend some time in gainesville in the fall, then out west in the winter.  perhaps some time in san diego, and hopefully some time in portland.  i want to be less of a visitor to these places, and now that i don’t have to push full forward all the time i’m really looking forward to slowing it down some.  i’ve had the lovely pleasure of meeting loads of new friends and musicians in NC, as well as had time to write music, work on the book (though not nearly as much as i need to), cook loads of food and generally enjoy a somewhat more normal schedule.  and sure, this blog has not been overly exciting lately, but that’s part of the beauty.  when it starts back up it will explode.  so, wait for the explosion.

I just finished singing songs. I was playing for over an hour on new tunes I’ve been carving out over the last few weeks. It’s interesting to reflect on some of this music and feel like it was never actually written, but in fact that it always existed. Of course, this is not the case, but creating a new song can be rather daunting, and going over a half written one can be rough but way less so than looking at a blank page. But once the songs start to take some serious form it’s almost as if they always were. This is a beautiful but occasionally hard feeling to stomach. Arriving at that near finished feeling is so rewarding but it also is scary as it feels so far away whilst writing new stuff. I do know though that it’s possible and I need to continously push forward.

One of the new songs finds me fumbling through ideas and phrases over a dark, quiet movement, and I keep finding myself gravitating towards the line “while falling asleep in my back seat,” and it automatically brings me back to a night in the not too distant past wherein I found myself without a place to stay, in of all areas, NYC/northern jersey. Enough things happened where it was too late or people weren’t answering my calls or roommates wouldn’t let me stay, that i ended up driving all over and eventually pulling behind the music shop where I used to work and putting my back seats down and trying to sleep in the ever warming early summer heat. The thing that most worried me was the temple next door as their staff once threatened to call the police and tow a trailer I’d left for a few days. Luckily i got a few hours of uncomfortable sleep before sun began to bake me and the people driving past me forced me out of dear old sweet pea. A quick covert piss later I was on my way. Seeing as it was about 8 am, way earlier than my standard waking our, i felt immediately productive. By 10 I’d gotten an oil change, cleaned out and organized my entire car, including my serious merch setup, had breakfast and attempted to sell stuff at best buy. It was a wild series of events.

Oddly, I compare this to busking (read: playing on the street for money), in a way. I find the most nerve wracking parts of busking to be the setup and the breakdown. Other than occasionally seeing cops or grounds patrol, I don’t worry or feel intimidated or upset or anything. I have fun and hope it works out. Similarly, when i once slept in the park and broke into a college building to sleep in their lounge, the moments of most hightened fear were pre and post, the obvious discovery moments. But overall, the sleeps and busking were and have been great and it’s interesting that so much anxiety can pervade these mostly harmless actions. However, every time I do something of this nature I feel slightly less scared. I also am fully aware that none of my situations were or are remotely close to those that a homeless person or someone steeped in poverty might experience. I don’t know their troubles and wish them the absolute best in improving their situations. But, I do feel that in some small way that mini fear I experienced might lead me to beginning to understand the life that some face and hopefully allow me to work toward helping them. And at very least, they definitely make me appreciate my home, warm food and friends all the more. I hope you’re warm/cool tonight, among loved ones and feeling amazing. I send my best to all of you.

hello all,

i want to call all people who are feeling creative and looking for something to make and/or contribute to this summer.  my goal is to get as many people trying new ideas and hopefully being able to not only showcase it for them but also to have it play a part in what i do.  the two main things i’m thinking of are videos and t-shirts/posters. if you’re interested, please get in touch.  pjbondmusic@gmail.com.

t-shirts/posters: 

i need new designs for t-shirts/posters and have a few pretty sweet ones on hold, but would rather work with someone else and create something fun together.  so, if you can draw, use visual computer programs, or have any other ways to create t-shirt designs, i have ideas, would love to hear yours and have printing presses at my disposal.  i’m currently working at a print shop that does awesome stuff and have been given full access to all of their shirt and poster print areas as well as to the materials, so it seems a shame to not utilize this awesome tool.

videos:

i really want to amass a great deal of video content and think it’d be really sweet to have a video for each song from my album.  sonic youth (as well as i’m sure a load of other bands) have done this and i really like the idea.  i’m currently working on live videos and video shorts, but i also think that me making videos for these songs isn’t the best idea because i’m too close to them.  i know what all of the nuances of the songs are about, i know the full story and back story.  but you don’t. and you could interpret the song in a way i never saw coming and that could be amazing.  furthermore, it’s a way to get the creative juices flowing.  if you’ve ever been interested in video, now is the time to try, because you have a preset soundtrack, time, basic idea, so many starting points with you fully deciding the ending point.  if it’s awesome, that will rule for both of us and everyone who enjoys it.  if it sucks, who cares?  it was totally worth trying.  if you want to do this and don’t have a specific song you want to try out, definitely let me know, and i can steer you towards one that isn’t being worked on. 

so that’s that.  i hope you’ll join me in my adventures.  and if you have your own that you want me to join you in, well please don’t hesitate to ask.  this street goes both ways, i’m just tossing out what i’m vibing.  i hope this finds you all wonderful and look forward to hearing from you.  write soon.

pj bond // pjbondmusic@gmail.com

i’ve been holing myself up in asheville, writing loads of tunes and attempting to tackle this book of mine.  last night i sat and spun one day’s worth of memory into five pages of minutia.  if this keeps going i’m going to write a 2,000 page book.  it’s good to have too much though, as hopefully i can whittle it down into a 3-400 page book of awesomeness.  it’s a little rough trying to keep productive and motivated on tunes and the book while also working 70 odd hours or so a week, all of which is on my feet on concrete floors.  i come home with sore ankles and knees and a twisted back, only to sit and type and fret for the few remaining waking hours, ensuring my wrists will be sore too.  but it’s all for a great end, right?  the idea that i have things that i love so much that i’m willing to go to whatever lengths to have them in my life makes me feel wonderful.  i love that i care about something so intensely, especially in a world where some people don’t actively care about anything.  i am also incredibly lucky to be surrounded by rad, creative, supportive people who keep pushing me along, especially when i most need it. 

so, now i write tunes as often as possible, but i still have so much to digest about my year plus of traveling that the lyrics are slowly taking shape but still in complete infancy.  seeing them take shape is fun though, and when i finally sit and take full responsibility of these songs, i think some pretty great stuff is going to come out.  i hope to put some demos together soon to share them with you.  until then, just know i’m working and being productive.  after so many months of being unable to sit and work on songs, i’m really relishing the time.  it’s also been really fun though mildly frustrating reliving the experiences of the past year while writing about them.  so many things i figured i’d forget about are flooding back in a beautiful but wild way.  i’m sure i don’t remember everything, especially the actual feelings in my chest at those moments, but i think there’s more than enough up in my old noggin that i can scrape out a story. 

the one thing i don’t know though, is what are you working on?  what’s heating your pot, stirring your juices?  i’d love to hear what you’re up to.  let me know.  pjbondmusic@gmail.com

i send my love.

interior coffee shop

boy to talks to barista quietly, obvious tension between them.  the boy is new in town and interested in meeting new people.  sweet, attractive baristas fall into the category of “new.”  they laugh about minutia and he leaves feeling happy. 

interior coffee shop

boy talks to barista in a way that seems more familiar, more open.  some time must have passed as they seem comfortable and closer.  without boy’s knowledge or awareness, barista’s boyfriend is in the coffeeshop, taking in the interaction.

exterior street

boy walks around town with resumes, intent on getting a job.  enters establishments, exits soon after, one resume lighter. enters next place, stays longer.

interior restaurant

boy talks to hostess.  ends up sitting for an interview with a manager.  the audience recognizes him as barista’s boyfriend.  boy does not.

interior coffee shop

boy and barista talking intently, rest of shop is empty.  barista sticks her head in a freshly opened bag of coffee beans.  makes boy smell fresh coffee beans.  boy appears light headed, happy.  after the boy recovers, the two continue to talk intently.

interior coffee shop

boy sits quietly as barista speaks with a friend.  friend leaves.  boy recognizes something in their conversation, makes possible connection.  asks barista if her boyfriend works at a certain restaurant in town.  she smiles and laughs uncomfortably.  boy feels vulnerable and betrayed.  barista apologies.  boy is uncomfortable. 

—-

boy watches barista, half covertly, as she cuts the top off a fresh bag of coffee.

barista - what?

boy - you didn’t stick your head in it.

barista - i know what it smells like.